Struggling? It could be a values misalignment

Have you ever spent time thinking about your values and what drives you?

If you have done this exercise, have you ever found your values to be challenged?

My highest values are: love, honesty, integrity, and service to others.

I've lived by these ideas for decades...in fact, they are an integral part of how I was raised (and how I have raised my kids).

Fast forward to today. I was sitting in a meeting and found myself not wanting to be there. A friend, who was on the call, shared an observation with me via IM. They said, "It looks like you are looking at your phone and not paying attention to the meeting." My response, "I was looking at my phone. I was playing a game."

They were surprised at my candor and wanted to caution me on the perception. I explained that me playing a game but engaging in the conversation and adding value was quite different than other folks in the meeting who were not on video or who were obviously working on other items and not engaging at all.

Then, I became very transparent and told them that I'm really struggling.

I think this was hard for them to hear because I'm one of their mentors. We had a very nice conversation that ended with them giving me a new perspective.

It's not my fault that the client has hired me, but won't support creating valuable opportunities and I've tried to open doors for the past 1.5 years to no avail. It's ok for me to be available when they need me, do my best, and fill the gaps with meaningful work that matters to me.

A few minutes later, I had a similar conversation with another friend who was going through the same type of quandary. They had come to the same outcome the first friend did...

AND I arrived at the realization that my struggle is because my desires and my current situation are so out of alignment.

I love to have a lot of meaningful work to do. I enjoy helping others. I want to deliver value and make a difference. It fills me up to be paid for a job well done. I don't feel any of this right now and the misalignment is creating unwelcome stress.

What have I done since those conversations? A lot of breathing and focusing on how I want things to be and I'm continuing to take action towards bringing my goals to life...and living into my best life...each day.

Here’s to love, honesty, integrity and being of service to others.

HUGS -Paulie