Through the Generations
Were you aware that everyone goes through the same cycle to become who they are? With such variety in the world, it may seem hard to believe, but at the core of it all, we each go through the same life development cycle to become who we are and
at any point we can change.
Here are the phases:
Imprint years (0 - 6): this is when young people are literally sponges. They have no way of knowing what is real and what is not; they assume everything is real. They are a blank canvas. This is when ideas, thoughts and beliefs become embedded as “how things are.” Recently, my daughters said, “Now I understand why they say, ‘everything a person needs to learn, they have learned by the time they are 5’…because it’s true.” These are the formative years for a reason.
Modeling years (6 - 14): next is when young people model to the behaviors of the most influential people in their lives. During elementary and middle school, kids begin to act like and talk like the people they spend the most time with. They also watch and learn. If someone is silly and they get attention, others will begin to act like that to get attention as well. At this age, cause and effect has not set in yet, so attention is attention. Soon, they will notice positive and negative reactions and some adjust their behavior to create more positive outcomes. It’s in this phase that people play out what they learned in the imprint years to validate their understanding, or create new behaviors.
Relationship years (14 - 21): at this point, young people are using what they have learned in the previous phases to create their own personal connections. This is where the actions of others begins to play out in the actions of the youth. They may have close, loving relationships or push people away, be provocative or very prim and proper. There is no right or wrong…it just is. However, it is in this phase that many patterns for future relationships is formed and when people have challenges, it is this time in their lives that will give clues for how to overcome the limitations.
Above is a 4-generation picture of my mom, me, my daughter and my grand-daughter. What a blessing!
Over the years, we have been given many moments of reflection. We see where our talents in baking and creativity have been passed down through time. We also see where the independence and intelligence comes from.
If you want to change something in your life,
look back to learn
and decide what parts to keep and what parts to make your own. Family ties run deep…and you don’t even have to know your family members to share similar traits.
Keep in mind.
You are your own person.
You get to choose who you become. AND at any moment you can choose to change and what parts of your past to embrace.
Life is always providing us with answers and guidance if you pay attention.
Enjoy the journey as you live into your best life.
HUGS -Paulie
